Kids in Games

            First things first, I haven’t written anything on this site in a while, so I want to thank you personally for sticking with me.  But due to popular demand, I’M BACK!  And without further ado, I am now going to blab on about video games again.  Don’t act all surprised, you knew this was coming.  What of it?

Kids.  What do they know?  Photo property of IGN

          So right, kids in games.  Here is the problem I have with game designers putting youngsters in games: No one wins.  And if The Office has taught me anything, it is that a win/win (win) scenario is always best. 

           

           From what I’ve seen, there are two basic schools of thought.  The first is prominent in survival horror games because children are appropriately horrifying.  In games like Silent Hill or Dead Space, the creators skirt around this issue by making their children-like enemies look different enough from real children by making them zombie-like or changing there skin tone enough to make them appear slightly different.  In theory, this is so game developers won’t get targeted by people easily upset with violence in video games.  Or violence against children.  But perhaps it is simply not to offend the player when he or she is mercifully putting the little ankle-biters down.  Choose your poison.

Ankle-biters in Dead Space 2.  Photo Property of IGN

            The second school of thought is the Fable II/ Fallout 3 idea of making children invincible gods of annoying invulnerability.  And surprisingly, in many ways, this can be even more atrocious to the average gamer.  Nothing breaks a game’s realism more than accidentally (or purposefully) killing a child, only to have them get back up, brush themselves off and be fine.  All I have to say is when I drop my highest level area of effect spell on a household, it seems weird when the only one who survives is unarmored Little Timmy.

God kids in Fallout 3.  Photo Property of Pentadact.com

            This, of course, is not helped by the fact that children are almost always unnecessary in games.  Let’s face it, they are usually more annoying than helpful anyway.  What brought this whole article on was the announcement that the new Elder Scrolls Game (Skyrim) is going to have kids in their game.  And I couldn’t be more disappointed.  In previous Elder Scrolls games (Morrowind and Oblivion), when did I ever say to myself, “You know what would really improve this game?.........Kids.”  They just weren't necessary or needed.

            This is the announcement that brought me out of my silence to voice my very opinionated views.  So what’s it going to be Skyrim?  Invincible children gods, or are we only going to see daycares of the beast-races?  Maybe I’ll be able to get a bunch of them to follow me around so I can take over the world with Mrs. Greybeard’s Fifth grade class.  Lose/lose (lose).